I Feel Fine.

So, our world is coming to an end. Life as we know it will be over, tomorrow. What do I do until then? Well, I spend the day with my girlfriend. We spend the the morning to the afternoon as a couple. For you, my wonderful readership, this is what we would call the "Boring Part." Now, what happens from around 7:00 to 12:00 pm, that's where things get interesting. I call everyone I know in the immediate area. I tell them to call everyone they know. Then, I organize a huge, anything-goes, no-holds-barred, end of the world block party. Blaring music, bright lights, more food or drink than could ever be fed or drunk, and enough people to fill a few large city blocks. This, would be my greatest achievement. This, would be my rage against the dying of the light. I would make sure that, if anyone in the future came across our planet, they would look upon us as the biggest group of badasses in non-existence. We would be remembered as the civilization that, when faced with their inevitable doom, decided, “Feick it, let’s party.” We would be remembered as the people who decided that their lives could not be better spent doing something which didn’t make us happy. Most importantly, though, we would be remembered. In that way, we would never die.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

W. T. Fitzgerald's Weird News of the Week.

Good day, ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere. As some of you may have realized by now, people are crazy. I mean like, completely, absolutely, without-a-doubt, certifiably insane. And that is why, without further ado, I'm going to share with you what I find to be the most ridiculous story from this past Wednesday. Kendrick Carr, a man from Wisconsin, allegedly pulled a foot-long butcher knife on a woman over Thanksgiving dinner, because she wouldn't give up her seat. Are you Feicking kidding me? What kind of a crazy person does that? What kind of maniac figures, "Well, this woman has taken my seat, and besmirched my good name. She must perish. I mean, it's not like I could find another seat, or, I don't know, not pull out a freaking butcher knife."

Thankfully, the woman defended herself with a broom, and was unharmed. The police were called, and Mr. Carr was charged with attempted murder, disorderly conduct, criminal damage to property, and reckless endangerment. So, yeah. People frighten me sometimes. Most of the time, actually.

This news report brought to you by William T. Fitzgerald's Knife Depot. When you need a cutting implement, turn to W.T.F.

Source.